Alzati Leadership Blog by Susan Ann Darley

Right Where You Are is Perfect

I’m going to share with you something a bit personal. However, I believe the message is valuable for all.


A couple of years ago, out of the blue, my brother and his lovely wife were in a tragic car accident. They both died instantly. For several weeks after the accident he was in several of my dreams. The dreams were comforting but he never said a word. That is, until one dream.


In that dream he looked at me and said these two words, “It’s perfect.”


Of-course when an unexpected crisis happens it hardly feels like “it’s perfect.” Our worlds turn upside down in an instant while experiencing a wide and deep range of emotions.


The dictionary defines “perfect” as: completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible. I ask myself, how can life be perfect when it’s filled with suffering, destruction and distress? Yet, looking back I see that since the accident our family has grown closer. It has impacted each of us in a positive way. Somehow this experience has softened our rough edges.


What if every single aspect of our lives is perfect? That the people and circumstances of our lives are there to help us grow?  Could it be that it’s up to us to just have the willingness to learn whatever lesson is presented to us?


With that willingness we realize it’s all about choice.


When I’m faced with challenging circumstances I get to choose my attitude and frame of mind. When I choose well, I can let go of blaming or controlling others. I can find peace in knowing that life is perfect. That whatever I need to become a better person is right in front of me. Hiding or running is not an option.


When the going gets tough and it all seems like too much, too long, I reset. Then again and again if I have to because I want calm in the storm. I need to hear my next step and take it with peace of mind regardless of circumstances.


This is not possible if I’m fighting my situation. This is not possible if I’m judging it or myself. And in the darkest of times when I become quiet I find comfort in knowing that “it’s perfect.”


Seeing between the lines…


What my brother shared with me has opened my eyes to see beyond the appearance of life.  How not to be mesmerized by or caught in the web of drama. To know that life is perfect – we are perfect. And that our lessons serve to set us free from the trap of judging others or ourselves by our “faults and defects.”


The six most important words ever said to me were spoken by a man who was a Holocaust survivor. He survived four Nazi concentration camps where he was tortured, beaten and shot at. When I showed him the draft I had written of his experience, he gently said, “You did not capture the beauty.”


This dear man understood that life is beauty. All of life and it can be found in the worst of experiences if we look deep enough. Then we will see beyond the appearance of all of us, and we will know and finally understand – that this is who we are.  Every one of us. No exceptions.


My brother’s words ring true. When we look beyond our faults and defects and those of others, the truth of our being is revealed. We see our humanity, our inner core, our beauty and realize, at last, “it’s perfect.”


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